That's my Q # 77 - "Beldar Chronicles - The Battle for Family"


[Planet Earth - Waterfront Harbor - 1910 hrs]

The skies were cloudy and Beldar stared upward wondering when the Remulak Fuel Survey vessel Delta One would arrive. The entire day, Beldar went to various blunt skull establishments to find parts. He could not contact the Earth authorities on the arriving vessel, which would have been the first action a Starfleet officer should do. However, Zorach looked and ate like Beldar of Remulak. Even the Immigration authorities were not interested in having an audience with him.

Zorach was worried about Prymatt and Connie. They were Beldar's family, superior in many ways to the human inhabitants of Earth, but even Earth could not withstand a full Remulak attack fleet. He had sent them to the most protected place on Earth, his basement.

Beldar walked into a convenience shop. He was dressed in his black flight suit with the emblems of a Remulak Commander. The clerk at the counter smiled and said, "Say, Halloween was weeks ago. Is there party tonight?"

"Yes, blunt skull. A most important celestial event will take place on this very harbor. In fact, by morning, your shop may not be here," Beldar said. He gathered some essential mass quantities of Twinkies, beer (48 cans), and four cartons of cigarettes. Beldar stopped at birth control area and placed 12 boxes of condoms in his cart. "Hehehe," he uttered in a most characteristic laugh for him. He finished the shopping with six cans of motor oil.

"What kind of party are you going to?" asked the clerk as he punched the price figures into the register. "That's 96 dollars and 58 cents with tax."

Beldar fished into his wallet and handed him a 100-dollar bill. "Keep the rest as a tip."

"Hey, man, that's most generous. A full three dollars. When is this party on the harbor?"

Beldar sighed. He obtained another 100-dollar bill and handed it to the clerk. "I would suggest you close early tonight."

The clerk grinned and pocketed the bill quickly. "I live upstairs, man. You aren't going to invite me to the party?"

Beldar laughed. <As if this blunt skull knew what mighty ship was coming to bring doom and mayhem to his quiet harbor.> Zorach thought. "Come at your own peril." Beldar pushed the cart out the door and walked with it down the poorly lighted street.

The clerk scratched his head. <What does peril mean?> He slapped up the "Closed, Come Again" sign on the door and locked up.

In 10 minutes, the mass quantities of Twinkies were consumed as well as 12 cans of beer, even the cans that provided some mildly delightful aluminum for digestion. Beldar ignited and inhaled a pack of cigarettes at a time. Three cigarette packs later, a red glow in the clouds drew Beldar's attention skyward. "MIP!"

Beldar pushed the cart toward an abandoned warehouse that he had claimed earlier in the day. In moments, a cone-shaped vessel dropped below the cloud line and gracefully hovered over the harbor. The vessel moved over the water and a few yards off the concrete dock.

"It would be so easy if I have one phaser cannon or even a real cannon. Even a missile would do," Beldar said.

A door opened on the side of the vessel and a ramp lowered to the concrete dock. Commander Strumtar stomped down the ramp, erect and proud. "I conqueror this planet for Remulak!" Strumtar announced.

Beldar stepped out of the shadows and approached the officer. "Greetings, fellow being of Remulak," Beldar stated.

"Who are you, fellow being? Where are the leaders of this world? I spoke with a spirit of the blunt skulls." Strumtar was studying the emblems on Beldar's flight suit. Prymatt had carefully added the rank of Fleet Captain to the uniform; something Beldar could not imagine would make any difference.

"Are you Commander Strumtar?" Beldar asked. He pulled the cart closer.

"I am, sir. You are a Fleet Captain but no one said that you arrived. Your face seems familiar, sir. May I ask your name?"

Beldar grinned careful to keep his capped teeth from showing. "Fleet Captain Zorach. And Commander, I am on a secret mission for Remulak." <Great balls of fire, I understand it! I have a family and this will work!> Zorach thought.

Beldar removed a box of condoms from the cart and offered it to him. Strumtar opened the box and removed one condom from its wrapper. He popped it into his mouth and started to chew quickly. "Humm, most entertaining, sir. May I inquire where your fleet is located, sir?"

"No. This world is under my charge. I'm sure the great leader would not reveal to you the details of a mission so important. Commander Strumtar, you are to return to Remulak and state that this world is of no value."

Strumtar's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Sir, I could not possibly go back with that news. Fleet Captain, this world is seemingly undisturbed since the last survey. Have you had contact with the blunt skulls? Have they corrupted you, sir?"

<Arrogant Commander, I knew this was a lousy plan.> Zorach thought. He pulled a remote control from his back pocket and pushed a button. The doors to the warehouse started to open.

"Mip! Gunner, arm all weapons. Target at will and hold," Strumtar spoke into a communicator. "I see no Fleet, therefore you have none."

"Commander! I tell you, leave this world and never return. There are forces in play far greater than Remulak." Beldar glanced toward the darkened warehouse. He hoped that angle was set properly. "For the love of my wife and child, I protect them now."

"Family? You brought your family to this backward world. You challenge me unjustly. I could take you and your family back to Remulak."

Beldar straightened his back and took a step closer to him. "You are no match to this world or me." He clicked the switch on the remote.

THAWAP! A soft hiss sound came from the warehouse as the system reset for another volley. Strumtar noticed an object fly from the warehouse at the same time, a small cylindrical object. The open can of motor oil flew over the cone-shaped vessel and Beldar's confidence dropped like a ton of bricks.

"FIRE!" yelled Strumtar. Beams of light flashed from the cone-shaped vessel in all directions. In a few seconds, the convenience store vaporized along with most of the harbor buildings.

THAWAP, thawap, thawap, came the sounds again from the darkened warehouse. The multiple cans of motor oil seemed to move in an arch over the dock. The first can flew over Delta One just like the other one but the last two cans hit the vessel. Brown oil oozed down the side of the massive cone.

"Cease fire," Strumtar said into the communicator. "What have you done?" he asked Beldar.

"Contamination. Your vessel, your crew, and you are stained, contaminated. If I were you, I would not return home." Beldar heard the sound of jets and scrambled for cover.

A blunt skull missile hit the gunner's position and exploded in a fireball. Strumtar ran up the ramp into his vessel. As the hatch closed, the cone-shaped vessel jerked to the right and pulled off the roof of the warehouse. The vessel quickly lifted higher into the clouds followed by two Air Force jets.

Beldar brushed off his flight suit and looked over at the torn roof of the warehouse. A modified potato cannon sat near the doors still holding two open cans of motor oil in its loading chamber. "The only tech I remembered," Zorach mumbled. "But it worked."

<My family is safe at last. Beldar, I understand your life.> He noticed on his fingers, a smug of blood, it wasn't red. A stray piece of shrapnel was stuck in his shoulder. "Mip!"


Beldar of Remulak Lieutenant Charles Zorach Chief Intelligence Officer Starbase Ronin (SB 47)