Pandora's Box #32 & 33 "Cars 'n Girls 'n Rock 'n Roll"

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[USS Pegasus, Recreational facilities, holodeck]

"...No, you stupid piece of... of... FECAL MATTER! I didn't say a Mercedes A-class, I clearly specified a Daimler Smart!" a boiling Ronald Evans was shouting at the computer after repeated attempts to summon a smart into the holodeck for the last 15 minutes or so.

"The daimler smart is not on file. The closest alternative has been used. Please specify 'daimler smart'" the computer replied.

Evans sighed, yinned the yang, did some internal counting to ten, took a deep breath and tried again... "Computer, please access Ronald Evans' personal files, photoalbum, and present them onscreen..." The computer beeped happily in response, as it did what was told, presenting them on a console in the holodeck's port.

"Ok, now take a look at the following pictures, 312, 315 through 340, 601 through 710, and 715 through 726, and extrapolate the red car with the black quarterpanels... THAT is a daimler smart..."

"Required action will take approximately 7 minutes to complete, extrapolating..." the computer answered in it's soothing female, yet artificial voice...

"Fine, take your time!" Ronald answered, only a little bit exhasperated. He had "rented" the holodeck for one hour, hoping to be able to begin right away, and only found out that half of it was already gone, before he could get started in any way...

"Replicator! Coffee! The Evans way..." Ronald almost spat at the small replicator to the side. Those seven minutes would pass a lot faster with a hot brew in his hands, he figured. A hot mug of extra strong black coffee with suger materialised.

"Thank you very much, glad that something's working as it should!" Ronald said, in his most cynical voice... He was peeved... No, really...

Caelen was sitting there reading through reports, this mission was the perfect oppertunity to catch up on whatever it was these PADDs contained. But he sat back reading through them uninterested. "Computer, location of Lieutenant Ronald Evans"

The computer bleeped as it processed the request "Ronald Evans is in the Holodeck" the standard starfleet computer voice replied.

"Good..." he said to himself, seemingly pleased. <reports can wait...> he told himself when he hessitated a moment looking at his desk. He stepped out of his Ready room and headed for the turbo lift. Which in turn took him to deck five, where he would walk straight to the holodeck. He was glad to see it being used this much. He walked up to the door and noticed it to be unlocked. He hit the button to open the door and stepped in "Lieutenant!" he almost sounded joyful.

When Caelen entered the holodeck, he was actually just in time to hear some marine-like out-chewing coming from the mouth of his chief ops officer: "Dear miss computer... Could you please tell me why there is no engine or drivetrain in the enginebay of this red with black quarterpanels 2001 daimler smart? And then, could you explain to me HOW THE HELL I AM SUPPOSED TO TEST ENGINE MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE ON IT?!"

And of course, the computer answered as calmly and truthfully as ever:"There is not enough information to recreate the requested components. Testing of said software will not be posible on this model"

"Sir, could you please put me out of my misery?" Ronald asked, closer to crying than laughing...

"I'd have to get a phaser from the armory..." Caelen joked a bit walking closer "...when I find something frustating like an incomplete holoprogram I usually shut it down and do something more fun..." he just raised his shoulders slightly notifying that it was the most logical and normal thing to do.

"Oh, but this is fun, sir, at least I thought it would be... Truthfully, this has been the most grindingly frustrating thirty minutes of my life... Until the next time I manage to screw something up, of course... Computer, close program, save on corrupt chip, encase in concrete, shove into torpedo, and shoot at the nearest black hole, thankyou..."

"Requested operation can not be performed, due to lack of resources and requires level 1 security access. Please specify securitycode..."

"DELETE THE DAMN PROGRAM ALREADY!" Evans yelled throwing his arms in the air.

The computer beeped happily once more, as the program closed, and deleted itself. Evans sighed a sigh of relief as if a thousand tonne burden was lifted from his shoulder. "Well, that was a waste of time..." he stated.

Caelen couldn't help but laugh slightly at this, he walked further into the holodeck and up to Evans "Do you play a musical Instrument Evans?" he then asked as if random but he had been thinking this over from the time he had heard Kathleen explain how cute Evans was.

"Computer activate Caelen one-seven Alpha with full illumination" Caelen simply stated. The grid flickered a bit as the grey walls turned pitch black and you could see some two feet high speakers in the corner.

"please select your weapon" the computer then asked before proceeding.

Evans responded as Caelen kinda expected, think first, act, look and listen just after that:"Weapon!? What have I done to... Wait a second..." he said, as a grin appeard on his face as he noticed the speakers :"You almost got me there, capt'n! Nice touch..."

Caelen winked as he simply stated "Indiana IS-100-BK `Power Series and..." he thought a moment "...a keyboard" he said arching an eyebrow hoping that it would just appear next to his guitar. Well the guitar 'spawned' exactly where it was supposed to but right next to it was a computer keyboard from the start of the 21st century. "I mean a Musical one!" he could understand how Evans would get aggrevated with the computer "replace keyboard with a Musical Keyboard"

The computer bleeped and the keyboard shimmered and was replaced by a black musical keyboard "Thank you" Caelen said satisfied.

"Eh... I must warn you, I'm not really that good... Frere Jaque, I can handle... Probably..." Evans stammered, as he saw Caelen checking out his Axe o' Rockish Rock +6...

"Then let's start with what you do know" Caelen. He slung band of the guitar around his neck and walked to Evans who now stationed himself behind the keyboard "Do you know where all the notes are?"

"I think so... C is right where it used to be..." he said, as he pressed the button. And a C-note was heard... Clearly... Very clearly... "Whoa, isn't this a bit loud?!" Ronald winced... But then again, it was the captain's program, so he struck a chord... "Niiiice..."

Caelen matched the chord with his guitar "Loud? This? clearly you've never been to a rock concert" he smiled and walked back to the center of the room. "Computer give Evans a copy of the keyboard tabs for the song..." he thought a second "...Walk Beside You, performed by Dream Theater" he decided that was a good song to start with. The music sheets materialized in front of Evans.

Evans studied the sheets, and saw some rather complicated sequences... He looked at his captain with a bit of desperation: "You think a lot of me, cap... I'll try, but I won't promise anything..."

As Caelen failed to specify the parameters for playback everything in the song would play. Guitars, Vocals, Kyeboard, Drums, the whole nine yards. So this would seem like a complicated playback act. The singer of the band would start to sing,

"There's story in your eyes I can see the hurt behind your smile For every sign I recognize Another one that escapes me"

And Caelen could barely stop himself from singing with him, in stead he hummed a bit. Not looking at Evans, hoping that this would give him a bit more confidence. He was just standing there playing in sync with the music.

"Let me know what plagues your mind Let me be the one to know you best Be the one to hold you up When you feel like you re sinking"

<Yup, this is my cue!> Ronald thought, as he started playing... His first chord was on time, having all of 15 seconds time to look it up, but he missed the second, third, and a lot after that... He just decided to drop a few, and play the best he could... He looked a bit sheepishly at his CO, but Caelen wasn't paying attention, he was just having a good time, happily riffing away on his sixstring... Ronald shrugged, and kept playing... He actually had a good time for once... Finally... And he was rapidly improving, as the chords weren't that difficult. Just a bit too difficult for Novice Evans...

The music flowed quite nicely, although Evans missed a few notes here and there "How's life Evans?" Caelen would ask, almost shouting to get over the sound of the song itself.

Ronald shouted back, missing even more notes in the process:"Same old, same old, every thing I do professionally works like a charm, and everything I do personally blows up in my face! Every gamble I take, I loose, and every step I take is either supported by an open manhole or a pile of dogpoo! So nothing changed really! Why do you ask?!"

Caelen stopped playing and turned around "Just wondering..." he acted to be innocent but his eyes twinkled that evil spark. "but seriously it can't be that bad" he asked before trying to get into the rythm again.

"Are you serious?! Even if I try to have a good time, I either piss off the barkeep, or end up threatening to gut the computer!" Evans stated, referring to his adventure with his freshly deleted attempt of constructing a holodeck program. "You know what I would really like? I would like to get ahead with that car of mine! It's almost finished, if I could get that computer to work!" He shouted...

"Car?" Caelen wondered outloud... really loud... "I thought Cars didn't survive the Third World War" he was trying to somehow put the pieces together and understand what the heck Evans was talking about.

"Yknow, it's pretty darn difficult to play and talk!" Ronald yelled back, going from talking to playing and back again, with quite some difficulty... Let's just say he was glad he wasn't playing in a talentshow... "Anyway, my dad and I managed to get our hands on a 2001 Daimler/Swatch Smart! A fixer upper, and that's what we've been doing in our spare time, until dad died, and I got an assignment aboard the peggy!"

"Y'know, there's a lot of spare room here, if my reports are correct!" he told caelen at considerable volume <...Nah, he'll never buy it...>

"Computer end music" Caelen stopped playing and walked closer to Evans "what are you getting at lieutenant?" he asked leaning on the stand that held Evans' Keyboard.

"Eh..." Evans semi-gulped, looking at the suddenly menacing captain in front of him... At least that was how he was interpreting it... "Nothing, I just put two and two together... A Smart is a small car, and this is a big ship with a lot of cargoroom... Stupid idea, isn't it?" he said, as he forced an innocent smile, and failed miserably...

"You should leave those smiles to the hot girls..." Caelen said with a broad smile " Jennifer... Alexandra... or perhaps even Lieutenant Black" he winked at Evans to see if he would get the hint.

Evans was failing his test miserably, as he answered:"Yeah, I guess smiling at Lt.-Commander Petrova would be a complete waste of efforts after screwing up like that in the first 20 seconds we met..."

Caelen smiled slightly "About that Smart of yours..." he reminded Evans of his ideas "you said we had some room in the cargo bays?"

Evans looked up:"Eh, yes, of course, I wouldn't want to make improper use of starfleet resources, but when I look at the amount of cargoroom we have on this ship, and the amount of cargospace we use, we actually have a lot of room left... If it were my universe, I would really like to convert a little corner of it into a garage... But it's probably a bad idea..."

"Well I could grant you permission to do that..." Caelen he started to grin "...but what is in it for me?"

Evans smiled a bit... "Heh, yer pulling my chain, captain... but I'll humour you... You can use it as a limo on your second honeymoon?" he said jokingly...

Caelen shook his head "I'll tell you what..." he put his guitar from his neck and back on the stand "...I'll arrange you a date with someone and you promise me to have a good time..." he simply stated raising his shoulders "... In return I will grant your request"

"Yeah, right..." Evans said, a bit too quickly... "Wait a second... " Evans expression went from jokingly to hopefully questioning: "You're serious? I get a piece of cargobay for my smart? Waaait a second... I am to go out on a date and enjoy myself? What's the catch?" Evans couldn't find anything wrong with this deal, but he learned from his dear ol'daddy, that when something seems too good to be true, it probably is...

"No catch..." Caelen threw out his arms to make sure Evans understood the gesture " would make me, you and one other lucky lady Very happy" he walked back towards the door "Computer end program" he turned around before triggering the sensors of the doors "Think about it Lieutenant"

"Eh, captain? Do you mind if I do the unsensible thing for a change and step into this one with both feet?" Evans said, grabbing his captain by his arm, to stop him from going away before he could answer. He really liked the prospect of having his car on board to work with, and a date with a woman too... Although, it might be babysitting Alexandra, which wouldn't be too bad either, come to think of it... However, it seemed that Dr. Floyd had that one covered already...

"Glad we agree Ronald" Caelen was now broadly smiling. As Ronald let go of his arm he walked out of the holodeck "you'll have the time on your desk first thing in the morning" he looked slightly over his shoulder before continuing on his way. "one down..." he whispered to himself, still broadly smiling.

"Dress uniform?!" Ronald asked, not a clue what to wear to his date.

"Civvies Ronald! Civvies!" Caelen was able to make clear before the doors to the recreational facility open and allowed him to exit. The doors closed behind him "Computer locate Lieutenant Kathleen Black" he couldn't resist smirking and marvelling at his own 'genious'

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Setting up and bein set up in front of the whole crew:

Commander Caelen 'Cupid' LaBrie Commanding Officer USS Pegasus

Lieutenant JG Ronald 'Oblivious' Evans Chief Operations Officer USS Pegasus

And a not so cooperative holodeck computer