River of Forgetfulness #106 - "For the Empire..."

-={On}=- [A dimly lit room somewhere on Starbase 47]

She was given a mission and she would do it, she just had to if she wanted to live. The Tal'Shiar was a powerful organisation and her mother was still on Romulus. Her eyes were cloudy from the tears but what was she to do.

After she cleaned her eyes with her sleeve she looked at the parts in front of her, provided so generously by an anonymous Tal'Shiar operative. Together with the PADD that self deleted, without a trace, after being read.

She ran her hand through her hair and sighed, she had to do this, for her mother. She thought she would be able to run away from this all after the Shinzon crisis, their family was just unlucky. Her hands were still shaking a bit as she picked up the, seemingly ancient, grenade. She wouldn't have even recognised it if she hadn't looked it up.

With her left hand she picked up the device that was to detonate the thing, she clicked it on and placed the grenade back on the table. Another tear accumulating in her eye, she couldn't do this… then again she couldn't not do this either.

She looked up from the table and around, were they watching now? Were they making sure she wouldn't screw up? A hackled sigh came from her mouth before she looked down again, wires should be connected… the bomb had to become remote controlled.

Another sigh as she carefully put one of the wires in the receptor and connected it to triggering mechanism, her hands was still shaking and her mind clouded. What if she just let it blow here, kill herself and be done with it? She quickly shook her head "No…" she whispered loudly to herself, she could do that, they would kill her mother.

That thought pushed her mind into another fit of near panic, tears rolling down her cheek again, how could they be so cold, how could they be such bastards and still say that it was in the interest of the Empire. Starfleet was smart, they would find out, they would arrest her.

Maybe she should be caught in the explosion herself, a suicide attack. At least then she wouldn't have to rot in jail. What would her mother think? What would they tell her mother? Her hands were shaking again but she had to finish this, she had to plant this and she had to kill that Reman… for her family… for the Empire.

Her eyes were fogging again, she hated the Empire, she hated the Tal'Shiar… and most of all she hated her mother… why did she stay behind? Why wouldn't she come with her? Another tear rolled down her right eye.

Another shaking hand as she plugged in the second wire, now all she had to do was tune it to her remote. Everything, apart from the grenade of course, had been given in such a fashion that there was no immediate suspicion, but the moment they would investigate all the eyes would be on her.

What would Letek think of her if she did this? Would he understand? They really found each other on the Starbase, both refugees of the Romulan state and this officer exchange program their way out. Sure he was gay and she was not interested but they were the best of friends, they shared everything… everything but this.

She had to send him a message, he had to understand… but she couldn't risk it… it could blow it all and then… then her mother would die. She switched the remote on, she switched the detonation receiver on and tuned them on the same frequency.

What would Evans think? What would her boss think of her after she pushed the button? Everybody would hate her… they wouldn't understand… nobody could understand. She quickly turned the remote off and threw it back on the table.

She stepped away from the table and looked at the things on there, the grenade and remote… she looked at it and knew what it would do, she knew what would happen tomorrow when she pushed that button… people were going to die…

Staggering a bit she made her way to the bedroom, she slumped in between the sheets and closed her eyes, hoping that it was all a bad dream, hoping that she would wake up tomorrow and that bomb would not be there… if only this wasn't happening.

-={Off}=-

Sublieutenant Nancela (NPC) Romulan Operations Officer Starbase Ronin (SB47) (as played by Caelen LaBrie)