Reflections #14, 15 - So close...

ON: [The combined Evans/Floyd/Black/O'Driscoll Quarters]

Hannah took a deep breath, and opened the door, not wanting to face Rylaar, but knowing she had to. "Listen, I..."

She stopped, as she realised that he wasn't there.

She frowned. <I guess I don't mean so much to him after all.> She thought, disappointed. She shrugged unhappily, and went back into the room to pick up her things for the day. Ten minutes later she was heading towards her office, scanning the events of the last shift. Her eyes widened to dinner-plate size as she saw one of the entries. She abruptly changed direction, and headed towards the Brig.

Ryylar lay unconscious where he had been dropped into the brig cell by Sulan and her security force. His uniform and fur was scorched in several areas from the 7 phasers that had gone off and shot him.

Hannah hurried into the brig area. After a hurried consultation with the officer on duty, she was allowed access into the cell area, and after a short, but very firm conversation, she was allowed into Rylaar's cell. "Oh Ry..." she said softly, kneeling by him, and cradling his head softly. "What have I done?"

Ryylar grunted and shifted.

"Nnnnngh..." Ryylar grunted as he was shifted around and his head lay in her lap.

"Hannah?" He croaked out as he blinked a bit.

"I'm here." Hannah said, stroking his fur. "Ssh...don't strain yourself." She paused. "I'm so sorry, Ry..."

"Hannah I'm glad you'rrrrrrre ok. I wasssssss.... I'm ssssssorrrrrrrrry I couldn't prrrrrrotect you. Sssssssulan had otherrrrrrssssss." Ryylar said, grumbling a bit.

"Sssshh..." Hannah said. "You did everything you could, Ry." She kissed his forehead. "What would I do without you?"

"I trrrrrried to ssssstop herrrrrrr." Ryylar said softly.

"I know." Hannah said, softly. "I know you did." She stroked his fur again. "Ry...I'm so sorry about last night...I forced myself on you...that was so wrong...I...I'm sorry."

"It'sssssss ok." Ryylar said softly, leaning back as he grumbled, resting his head in her lap.

" it isn't." Hannah said. "What I said last night...that was desperation. I tried to take what I wanted, but Rylaar...I do love you...I need you."

He nodded and reached up and took her hand, holding it in his hands.

"I won't everrrrrrrr leave." He said softly.

"Rylaar...kiss me." Hannah said, softly.

Ryylar looked up at her andhis eyes held a mournful look.

"I can't... Krrrrrrrissssstiana...." Ryylar said softly.

"You're sure?" Hannah said, quietly.

"I love Krrrrrrrissssstiana Hannah..." Ryylar said softly.

Hannah nodded, sadly. "Ok..."

Ryylar felt bad and leaned up, putting his arms around her.

"Hannah... I don't want you to rrrrrrrun to me orrrrrr anyone becausssssse you'rrrrrre lonely.... I think you'rrrrrre beautiful and I carrrrrre about you a lot." The Caitian told her, pressing his lips to her forehead as he hugged her.

Hannah said nothing, just enjoying the closeness.

Ryylar just held her close and nuzzled her.

"I'm ssssssso glad you'rrrrrre sssssssafe Hannah." Ryylar said softly.

Ryylar just held her close and nuzzled her.

"I'm ssssssso glad you'rrrrrre sssssssafe Hannah." Ryylar said softly.

" too." Hannah said. From her eye dropped a solitary tear.

He looked into her eyes as he held her, looking straight into her eyes.

"I...don't know what I'm doing, Rylaar." Hannah said. "All I know is that I love you...more than anything."

"And I'll neverrrrrrr hurrrrrrt you Hannah, I will neverrrrrrr let anyone hurrrrrrt you, but I'm with Krrrrrrrisssstiana." He said softly, looking into her eyes as he held her.

Hannah looked away, heartbroken.

Ryylar sighed heavily and reached down for Hannah's hand, taking it gently.

Hannah shivered at the gesture, looking up into Rylaar's eyes.

He looked back into Hannah's eyes. One part of him wanted to take her, to hold her, to shelter her and love her. The other... larger part of him... was bound in love to Kristiana.

"Rylaar..." Hannah said, pleadingly, unable to find the words.

He reached up and caressed her cheek, staring into her eyes.

Hannah held his hand to her face, staring into his eyes, unwilling to break the moment with words.

Ryylar swallowed hard. It would have felt warm to press his lips to hers, it would have been warm and compassionate to hold her while he kissed her. He didn't though. He made no movement, just held her as she moved close to her.

"Rylaar...I won't force you." Hannah said, begging him to close the deal.

"I can't betrrrrray Krrrrrrrisssss Hannah... forrrrrr the ssssssame rrrrrrrreasssssson I could neverrrrrrr betrrrrrray you like that." Ryylar said with a nod.

"Ry..." Hannah said, close to tears. "Please...I need this, I need you."

Ryylar gently held her and kissed her forehead, holding her close.

Hannah sobbed silently. Though she had seen this moment coming for some time, the finality of it still ached.

Ryylar held her as he cried and tried his best to comfort her, but it was a shallow comfort since he was the cause of her pain.


Lieutenant JG Hannah O'Driscoll Chief Tactical Officer USS Pegasus


Warrant Officer Ryylar Morale Officer Acting Security Officer USS Pegasus