Pandora's Box #71-73 "Bottles of Beer"

-=(Click, On)=-

[Uss Pegasus, Corridors on level 6]

Ronald Evans and Kitty Black decided to part ways, and each take another lift to the decks of their quarters, to avoid any more embarrasing moments. And yes, as luck would have it, Letek was there too, looking for his superior...

"Ah, mister Evans! There you are! Could I talk to you for a moment?" Letek called out, when he saw Ronald. "It's about some supplies that were supposed to be on stock, but still seem to be on backorder."

"You sure it's just for a minute?" Evans said just a bit too loud for it not to be heard by Letek. "Eh! eh... Because I'm in a bit of a hurry! Not because you talk too much... ARGH!" Evans responded...

At that moment the elevator doors opened, but it wasn't quite empty...

"So, yes, this could be very interesting, to say the - Oh no." Kristiana trailed off as she spotted Evans. "If I quickly tell the lift to go to deck three maybe he won't see me." she blabbed out, before giving an audible groan, and shaking her head.

Ryylar mumbled something about this stupid problem whatever it was affecting everyone's head. "But thisssss isssss the medical deck Krrrrrisssss..." He said, pointing out towards the nearby sickbay.

Evans turned around at the very familiar voice that always seems to pop up behind him, and another "GAAAH!" was heard. "Oh no, not Petrova, anyone but Petrova... I MEAN Sorry ma'am! Eh... Ooooh boy, that's another mark on my record..."

Letek watched this spectacle of very frank outbursts, and dit not know what to make of it... "Eh Sir?" he asked, as he put a hand on Evans sholder... "What's going on?"

"Oh, no! You did not touch me... Please tell me you did not touch me?" Evans said, as he felt the hand on his shoulder.

"Is it me, or is it getting cold in here?" Letek answered...

"Yes, he touched me... Now he's never going to shut up..." Evans concluded

Kristiana narrowed her eyes at Evans, balling her fists a bit, then muttering a soft curse. ".. You've got it as well, Evans. I'll let this remark slip, this time. Ryylar and me have it as well, we just can't seem to keep our thoughts to ourselves." She spoke, before quietly adding "So now he knows about my black lac - THIRTY BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL !!"" .. Well, that's One way ..

"Oh yeah, I had almossssst forrrrrgot about your black laccccce playssssssuit... DOH! You idiot Rrrrrryylarrrrr! Now you've done it! Krrrrrisssss isssss going to hate you forrrrrr ssssssurrrrrre thissssss time! Damnit! Jussssst ssssshut yourrrrrr mouth you sssssstupid Cait!" He growled and then clammed up, closing his eyes in frustration.

"Lt. Commander, you in a black lace playsuit? I think it'd suit you... SHUTTING UP NOW! Coldest plasma is 1036 degrees Kelvin... Let's add some differential equations... That would keep me busy... I like the bottles of beer method too... Good idea..." Evans blurted out, "Please be gentle when you kick me out of an airlock..."

In the meantime, Letek was starting to feel drowsy, as he listened to this very peculiar conversation with great interest. He put his hand in front of his mouth and yawned a big yawn... "Oh, I shouldn't have stayed up late last night..."

Kristiana didn't offer Letek any attention. She kept her eyes focused firmly on Evans. Visciously so. "If I EVER learn that you've been having mental images of me in my black leather and lace playsuit, I'll murder you so hard that your kids will - .. and I just GAVE you said mental images, didn't I. Twentynine bottles of beer on the wall .. !"

"Oh, I know how you feel... I just practically proposed to Kitty Black..." Evans let slip...

"Ah, that's a shame..." Letek said... "Wait a second, did I just say that out loud?"

"Yes you did." Ronald, Kristiana and Ryylar said simultaneously...

Ryylar smiled. "Yeah I can picturrrrr Krrrrrissss in that naughty black little..." he said, his eyes widening as he quickly grabbed Kristiana and pulled her into a hard kiss to stop himself from speaking.

"Ryyl - HMMMPH !!" She blinked, then moaned softly, kissing back, with definate passion, before pushing him off of her face and giving him a slap in his. "Your coping and distraction techniques is putting thoughts in my head I do _NOT_ want to share with the ensign, Ryylar ! Twenty-eight bottles of beer on the wall .. "

"Sssssorrrrrrry Krrrrissss, but thossssse imagesssss you keep brrrrrringing up arrrrre prrrrretty enterrrrrrtaining." He said a bit sadly as if he was ashamed, though in truth he had tried to do it to spare what he could for her.

"Eh ma'am, I'm actually a lieutenant JG now... Ok, shutting up... If one of those bottles should happen to fall..." Evans said. He then turned to Letek, as his words finally registered" What do you mean, 'a shame'?"

"Eh nothing... I haven't been hiding my whole life that I'm... What's that bottle song?" Letek answered, suddenly sounding very upset...

".. Gay ? - take one down, pass it around .. !" She just about facepalmed, groaning, shaking her head a bit. "Ryylar. You. Me. Doctors office. Now." before quietly adding under her breath "Before I make an even bigger fool of myself ..

"Sssssoundsssss good to me Krrrrrissss, among otherrrrrr thingsssss like you in... TWENTY SsssssEVEN BOTTLESssss OF BEERrrrr ON THE WALL!" He loudly clamored out.

Evans was startled, actually being hit on by his assistant... His MALE assistant. "Ooookay, this is an uncomfortable situation... For your info, Kitty and I just came from sickbay, and the good old winkwinknudgenudge doctor told us to lock ourselves into our rooms, to spare us some embarrasment... I guess he would tell you the same, until he has a cure... And YOU are NOT coming with me!" he said, turning to the romulan sublieutenant.

Letek was just standing there mumbling:"My secret is out... I'm gay... All my life I have been hiding it, and this is not how I was planning this to come out... I'm gay..." He was torn between crying his heart out, or sighing the sigh of a man losing the weight of the world from his shoulders.

Kristiana paused and frowned. "I didn't mean to upset him." She quietly mused to herself, before turning to the Romulan. "Ryylar can take care of himself for a while. Letek .. There's nothing wrong with being gay. It's ok, nobody here actually minds. Except maybe for Ev - Twentysix ! .. Bottles of beer." She'd sigh. "We don't mind, Letek, you're a nice guy, you work well, that's what matters." and quietly muttering underneath her breath "Twentyfive .. We're getting absolutely piss dead drunk here from all that beer .. "

Ryylar sighed and looked to Kris and looked to Letek. "I'll be happy to help you get pissssss drrrrrrunk and laid too if you want... therrrre arrrre plenty of people that... TWENTY FIVE BOTTLES OF BEER!" He sang out in a raucous cacophony of sound.

"I already had twentyfive, learn to keep track." Kristiana told him in an aside.

Letek looked up at the remarks of Kris and Ryylar. "Huh? What do you mean? Gay, in the open? but that's impossible..." he mumbled, still stuck in the corset of his own culture...

"Well I neverrrrr sssssaid openly, but you'll be sssssurrrrrprrrrrissssed at what comessssss out when therrrrrre'ssss liquorrrrr involved." He said with a nod.

"It's not so bad, Letek. I don't know what it's like on Romulus, but in starfleet we don't treat people different for their sexual preference. Look at me, for example, I like both men and women, and I - Twentythree .. bottles .. !" She smcaked her forehead with her palm, groaning softly. ".. See ? .. It doesn't matter. Not here, it doesn't."

He blinked and looked at Kristiana and then smiled, leaning over to give her a gentle kiss on her temple, just enough to let her know that he didn't much care, surprising as it might have been.

"Well, it's not that I have a thing against gay people, but please don't hit on me again, I find that rather unnerving," Evans said. "Well, look at the time... Deck seven please!" he said, stepping into the elevator. Of course he meant to not have said anything at all...

Letek just had so much going through his mind, that the only thing that came out was:"I'd like that... But let me think for a while!"

Kristiana would give a nod "All the time you need, Letek. The longer the b - Twentytwo ! .. bottles .. of beer." She grabbed Ryylar's arm and simply started for sickbay.

Following along, Ryylar sang out. "Twenty one bottlessss of beerrrrr on the wall, twenty one bottlesssss of beerrrrrr!" Just for safety's sake he sang to keep any thoughts from being vocalized.

"Hey, wait for me!" Letek called after them,"I got it too, so I better report to sickbay also!" He fell in step with his singing Federation collegues, and started singing a Romulan song just like this 'Bottle of Beer' one, translating to 'I've already put a little jar of lard on the table', saving him from any more embarrasment too...

-=(Click, Off)=-

Handing out as many posts as bottles:

Lt Cmdr Kristiana Petrova Executive Officer USS Pegasus "My sig is bigger than Caelen's .. "

Lt Jg Ronald Evans Chief Ops Officer USS Pegasus "Shutting up any minute now... No, really..."


Warrant Officer Ryylar Morale Officer USS Pegasus "I've waited a lifetime for the perfect woman in a black lace... TWENTY SEVEN BOTTLES OF BEER!"

Special guest star:

Sublieutenant Letek Assistant Ops Officer (Romulan Officer Exchange Program) (Played by Ronald Evans)