Blue Ball #30, #31 "Revenge is a dish best served tastelessly."

[ON:] [USS Pegasus, Mess Hall]

Hannah stood at the replicator, frowning. <What should I have for lunch...> She thought long and hard - this was the problem with having a replicator with a million different options - sometimes there was just too much choice. "Surprise me." she said, cheerily. To her great surprise, a bowl of blue...well, mush would probably be the best description of it, appeared in the replicator. "Computer, what is this?" Hannah said, in confusion. "Supri Z'mee." Hannah was sure she could detect a hint of smugness in the computer's tone. "A traditional Rigelian dish." Hannah sighed. <You win this one, computer, but mark my words, I'll be back.> She took her bowl of mush and took a seat at a nearby table.

Sulan watched the exchange with the computer silently. After Hannah had finished, she went next. "Computer: protein supplement number thirty-one, and two cups of Vulcan tea, vor'cha blend." The replicator manufactured a bowl of steaming gelatinous goo that managed to look like a clear form of motor lubricant. Taking the tray, Sulan moved over to Hannah's table. "Is it agreeable that I sit here?" She asked in her customary even tone.

"Wotcher, Sules!" Hannah said, happily. "Take a seat!" She spooned a little of her Supri Z'mee into her mouth, and made a face. "You know, I think this stuff may actually taste worse than your food looks."

Sulan nods. "That I do not doubt. In fact, I believe this substance to be tasteless if the replicator made it properly. Though, I've made you a cup of Vulcan tea, which you might find agreeable." She slid the extra cup of tea toward her, and began eating the protein paste. "Ah, tasteless as I expected."

"Tasteless...lovely." Hannah said, looking dubious. She pulled the tea towards her. "Is this stuff nice?"

I cannot say, as I do not posses a human's sense of taste." Sulan said, as rubbed her wounded cheek. "Hmm, It's would seem that I have suffering some discomfort." She puts the spoon down. "Do you normally prefer alien dishes? If so, perhaps you would care to sample Klingon blood-maggots?" "You know what - I'm ok" Hannah said, sipping at the mug. She tasted the coffee on her tongue - it was very thick...almost sludgy. It had an earthy taste...almost like...beef? All in all, it wasn't too bad. "This is nice, Sules." She said, grinning. "Excellent." Sulan picked up the spoon again, eating more slowly. "I am curious," She said between bites, "about the human concept of humor, I have recently acquired a joke, but do not know if it is to be considered 'funny' or not. Would you care to hear it?"

"You've come to the right person, Sules." Hannah said, grinning. "I happen to have a rather excellent sense of humor." <Does she know about the hand print?> Hannah wondered to herself.

"Very well. Two Klingon hunters are hunting in the forest. While tracking prey, one of the Klingons accidentally shoots his comrade. The unwounded Klingon uses his com badge to contact emergency medical support to guide him through giving aide to his friend. 'What do I do,"says the uninjured Klingon. "I've shot my friend and believe I have killed him." The medical support tech thinks for a moment before asking 'Are you certain he had been killed?' A few seconds later a disruptor shot is heard. "I'm sure he's dead. Now what do I do?'"

Hannah laughed so hard that she had to fight to keep the coffee from bursting out of her mouth. "That's genius!" She swallowed. "I love it!"

Sulan nods. "I once lost a bet, where I had to pretend I had emotions for a twenty-four hour period. Unfortunately the incident was photographed. People who didn't know me, believed I was Romulan instead of Vulcan. Most disconcerting."

"You, with emotions?" Hannah said. "I don't believe it!" She cocked her head at the Vulcan."That would be very cool." <She must know about it! She's toying with me...I got to be subtle about this...> "So, uh...did you enjoy the climbing last night?"

"I'll show you the image, next time we go to my quarters. As for the climbing expedition, I found it quite fascinating." Said Sulan.

<Dammit! She didn't bite!> "So...uh, you weren't uh...stiff afterwards, or anything?"

"Not at all. Such actions are well within my physical tolerances. Were you injured in some way?"

"No, not at all - I just though, with you not climbing and all..." <ARRGH!> "Did you found you got dusty from the climb? I was covered in dust."

Sulan nods. "In some ways. I believe my security teams misunderstood your affection toward my posterior as proof of a sexual attraction." She says tonelessly.

<Uh...> "You found my little joke, then." Hannah said, grinning foolishly.

"Yes." Sulan said simply. "And I've taken the appropriate response. I believe it is what human's call 'revenge'. Now then, I am also curious-" She stops seeing the girl's expression. "What is it?" She asks. "You took revenge?" Hannah said, looking worried. "What have you done, Sules?"

"Do not worry, it will soon make itself apparent." Sulan finished eating her paste.

"Oh, this is cruel, Sules." Hannah said. "Now, I'm getting all antsy just thinking about it."

"Very well. The tea I gave you contained a strong laxative. Which should be taking effect..." She glances at the chronometer on her wrist. "Now, I believe."

"Oh, you are going down, Telek!" Hannah said, as she sprinted to the toilet.

"Ah, would this be something you consider 'funny' Hannah? Hm, I was unaware you could move so quickly." She watched the girl move to the refresher in a blur. "Fascinating."

***Some time later***

Hannah returned to the table, her face somewhat ashen. "That was mean, Sulan Telek. Funny, but mean." She grinned. "You realise that this is officially a feud."

"Indeed." She watches at the girls sits, waiting for the sound of the whoopie coushion she placed there.

Hannah winced at the sound of the cushion. Several people turned around in surprise. "I see that I'm dealing with a Master here." She said, grudgingly.

"Something you ate, Hannah?" Sulan said raising an eyebrow. She stands addressing the entire mess hall. "Ladies and gentlemen, please avoid eating anymore alien dishes, to avoid the fate Lieutenant O'Driscoll seems to have suffered." She sits, again, looking at the girl's flaming red cheeks. "Human embarrasment is a fascinating emotion, wouldn't you agree?"

Hannah's face matched the colour of the uniform many around her wore. "That's one all, Sules, but I warn you - you're only going to reap what you sow."

Sulan glances down at her clothing. "My uniform is undamaged. I fail to see your meaning."

"Not, not sew...oh, never mind." Hannah said, shaking her hand. "I'll strike when you least expect it, trust me on this."

"You're several years too inexpirienced to strike at me, Hannah. Save yourself the emotional anguish, and surrender. Admit to me that I am the master of such things, and all will be well." She sips her tea.

"Not a chance." Hannah said. "Look at your hands, Sules." As the Vulcan looked at her hands, she realised that Hannah had smeared her cup with the blue goop she had been eating. Aside from being absolutely disgusting, Hannah had noticed that the goop had stained her bowl luminous blue, and, sure enough, it had done the same to Lieutenant Telek's hands.

Sulan tilted her head. "Well played. Though you may wish to examine your posterior." The whoopie cushion had been coated in time-delay phosperesent powder in the shape of a hand print.

"Touché." Hannah admitted. "Well, I'm out, but you gotta give me credit, given the lack of preparation I had."

Sulan nods." Agreed. Now, if you would admit your defeat, I can cease planning."

"Not on your life." Hannah said. "You just raised the game, Sules."

'Understood." She changed the subject. "tell me something about yourself, Hanna."

"Apart form the fact that practical jokes are my forté?" Hannah smiled. "Well, I guess I'm pretty easygoing - I like playing guitar, climbing, swimming...all that good stuff."

Sulan nods. " I see. I would describe my self as-" her com badge chirped. -/\- "Miller to Sulan." -/\- She tapped her com badge. -/\- "Sulan here." -/\-

Miller spoke quickly: -/\-"We've had a minor altercation down here. Smith and Johnson." -/\-

-/\- "On my way." -/\- Sulan said darkly. She closed the channel. "Well, Hanna, it appears that I have to depart. Thank you for allowing me to share your table." Sulan departs quickly, her thoughts turning from humor to anger.


A joint RP by:

Telek Sulan (acting) Chief of Security U.S.S. Pegasus "Make no mistake, I'd be laughing at you if I were permitted to."


Hannah O'Driscoll Chief Tactical Officer U.S.S. Pegasus "Engaged in A Prank Battle Extraordinare""