Starbase Ronin Annual Awards Show!

Something that is going to be an annual event! Mostly because I have to much time on my hands but also because I think it's funny! Prof. Dr. Fritz von Stossenbaum Alkaseltzer (famous from L.I.S.P.) is our special guest presenter! Give him a warm applause!



Good Evening and Welcome To the Starbase Ronin Annual Awards show here on this Beautiful Christmas Eve (If you're reading this before Christmas eve it's been pre-recorded... if you read it after... it's a rerun, you can no longer call for your favorite)! I am Professor Doctor Fritz von Stossenbaum Alkaseltzer and because everybody here has nothing better to do we are going to be handing out some Awards to the people on this base!

First off, not everybody was eligible for an award, for one you had to be more then “bare minimum” active and you had to be here for at least 6 months! On Top of that I had to be able to think of a good award to give to you… which was an entire day job in itself.

Anyway, enough with my useless yapping… Moving on to the first award! This award was given out to a particular occasion although we all know that the Character goes through much more of these moments… this one just stood out.

So I bring you the “Oh God You Didn’t just do that”-Award! And the Winner is:

*insert dramatic Drum roll here*

Lert!!! for putting Kristiana through horrible, horrible situations in general but for Old man Petrov committing suicide in particular.

Congratulations Lert, with your award…
*insert thank you speech here*
…thank you… moving on…

Next up a character that everybody just has to love, especially in combination with a specific other person.

The second award, the “Did I just say that out loud?”-Award! And the Winner Is:

*insert very short and to the point drum roll here*

Kathleen Black! for… well every post she ever made really… Congratulations Kitty, with your award…
*insert thank you speech here*
…so touching… Next!

We’re moving along pretty nicely here, the third award already. This goes to a man we all go to time in need… he’s wearing teal. The “I’m a Doctor not an”-Award goes to:

*dramatic drum roll although everybody already knows who’s going to win this*

Russell D. Floyd! for excessive use of the phrase ‘I’m a Doctor not a…’ in character, any other Doctor who would do that would get on our nerves but somehow he makes it work! Russell, congratulations with your award!

*insert longwinded thank you speech here that gets interrupted halfway down*
That’s quite enough thank you!

Before we move on to the next Award we’re going to have to go to a commercial break, Stay tuned!

*insert annoying commercials about various new movies, hair products and aging products that don’t work here*

Welcome Back to the Starbase Ronin Annual Awards show! We have already arrived at the fourth award! This person is worth an award on his own but we had to think of a reason first! So… The “Chewing Gum and Duct tape”-Award goes to:

*insert somewhat tiring Dramatic Drum roll here*

Ronald Evans! For his unorthodox yet effective ways to fix problems. Congratulations Ronald “MacGyver” Evans, with your award!

*insert a bit unsure thanks to mom and friends here… ohw and of course all his fans*

Well ain’t that cute… But It’s Wrong! Go! Go! Back to your Seat!

The fifth award! Everybody getting nervous yet?! Will I be in there?! *shivers* what will I win?! Well you’ll just have to wait and see now don’t you! Now comes an award for the Part time Boy Toy and part time Security Officer, we all know I’m talking about Ryylar of course! Today you will be receiving…

*drrrrrrrrrrrrramatic drrrrrrrrrrrum rrrrrrrroll*

The “Rrrrrrolling Arrrrr”-Awarrrrd! And you’re getting it for being so damn fuzzy and cuddly as well as not being able to pronounce the letter ‘R’ like a normal human being!
*inserrrt a thank you speech herrrrrre that trrrries to avoid the letterrrrr “R”*
Thank you Very Much Ryylar!

We are nearing the end people! Award number six coming up! But not before we listen to a musical intermezzo.

*insert Celine Dion or Madonna or some pop-song crap like that in here*

That was wonderful, wonderful… ahum… like I said, award number six! Time is running out so we’re going to have to speed this thing up. Award number six is The “One we Love to Hate”-Award and it goes to:

*insert rather plain drum roll here*

Telek Sulan! for… being herself really… We Still Love You Sulan!!! At least that’s what they told me… Congratulations with your award!

*insert thank you speech here that just consists of the works “Thank you”*
It’s quite alright…

Two more to go people! Just two more! After this…

*insert commercial break with more annoying hair conditioner commercials and bloody expensive Christmas present everybody SHOULD have*

And welcome Back for the Conclusion of the Starbase Ronin Annual award show! Two more awards to go and so many sad faces to leave behind!

Next award goes to somebody loved by everyone, Human, Vulcan, men and women alike! It’s the “Wiggling Hips and Cleavage”-Award and it goes to:

*insert Saxophone solo here*
What the... ???
*muffled sound of saxophone being hit over someone’s head, immediately followed by a dramatic Drum roll*

Hannah O’Driscoll! For her very personal, and effective, way of ‘convincing’ men… well most of the time it’s only men at least. Congratulations with your award!
*insert thank you to everyone but her father here*
How lovely…


And finally the award everybody has been waiting for! The “20 th Century Rock star”-Award! Everybody knows it goes to Captain Caelen LaBrie! Not really needing a drum roll there… and no you don’t get to have a speech!
*Caelen thanks all his crew and players regardless*

Well there you have it! This is the end people! To those unfortunates out there, worry not! There will be another award show Next year! Congratulations to all the winners and Keep up the good Work!

This is Fritz von Stossenbaum saying goodnight… Goodnight!


Prof. Dr. Fritz von Stossenbaum Alkaseltzer
L.I.S.P. Professor and Part Time Awards Presenter
Starfleet HQ
"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."


Overview of the Awards:

“Oh God You Didn’t just do that”-Award goes to Lert

“Did I just say that out loud?”-Award goes to Kitty

“I’m a Doctor not an”-Award goes to Doc Floyd

“Chewing Gum and Duct tape”-Award goes to Evans

“Rrrrrrolling Arrrrr”-Awarrrrd goes to Ryylar

“One we Love to Hate”-Award goes to Sulan

“Wiggling Hips and Cleavage”-Award goes to Hannah

“20 th Century Rock star”-Award goes to Captain LaBrie